In a world that keeps getting faster, more connected, and more interdependent, it seems there is always something more we can do, something extra to accomplish, one more step to take. The pressure is there from every angle, the most prevalent being social media continuously bombarding us with images of what we should be, what we should have attained, and what we should be aiming for. That’s a lot of pressure.
To make matters more complex, there is an arguably stronger pressure we find ourselves exposed to almost non-stop: self-criticism. It does not help that all the external factors mentioned earlier are constantly reinforcing our internal views of ourselves – unless we can catch them, reframe them, and use them for good. Here is where the concept of aspirational discontent comes into the picture so we can use it to foster an improvement mindset.
Aspirational…
As the term suggests, the aspirational element refers to the vision we are striving to achieve. It is about the definition of personal success we have created to guide our efforts. Defining the aspiration is crucially important, as this will determine the focus of our actions and where and how we invest our energy. It is said Walt Disney referred to his vision as being in ‘the happiness business’. Note how this is not ‘the theme park business’ and how this distinction allows for a more expansive and inclusive definition of success.
The key element of that distinction is that ‘the happiness business’ is outcome oriented, rather than output oriented. The theme park business focuses on building and operating parks; the happiness business focuses on smiling customers who tell their friends and keep coming back for more. Do a quick check on your current aspiration and ask yourself if it is output or outcome oriented. Are you focused on the next milestone, the next revenue target, or the next project? You may be looking at outputs. Is it focused on what it will mean for your daily activities, how you will spend your time, and how it will positively impact yourself and others? You are likely aiming for an outcome.
…discontent
The discontent part of the equation refers to the continuous drive for ongoing improvement. You may be familiar with the Japanese term of kaizen, the concept of many small improvements done consistently over extended periods of time resulting in compounded benefits to the efficiency, quality, and dependability of the outcomes produced. While the concept originated in relation to industrial processes, it is easily applicable to personal growth. Being discontent with our current state means aiming to be in continuous kaizen, always looking for ways to improve.
A crucial distinction to make is that discontentment in this context does not equal unhappiness. Wanting to be better does not require you to be unhappy about who you are today. You don’t need to be broke to want to improve your financial situation. You don’t need to be sick to want to improve your overall health and longevity. Improvement does not necessarily mean going from bad to good; it can be going from good to great, or from great to absolutely fantastic. You can love yourself and still strive to achieve more; it only needs a little self-compassion.
The improvement mindset starts with reflection
How do we reconcile the concept of aspirational discontent with our initial discussion about self-criticism? One action that works for me is doing a quick exercise on reframing. Stop for a second and forget about the future. Look back at what you have achieved, the decisions you have made, the sacrifices you have endured, the choices you have taken, the effort you have put in. I would venture to guess that the person you were 5 years ago is a different person from who you are now. Take a deep breath and celebrate yourself, you have done all of this, and you can still do more.
This reframing does not mean complacency, slowing down, or lowering our standards. It is only an acknowledgment of the transformative change processes we have been consciously and unconsciously applying on ourselves with the aim of getting better at something. It’s the realisation that what it takes to get to the next level is already within us, if we can stop convincing ourselves of the contrary.
Having an outcomes-based aspiration of where we want to be in the future and a reflective and compassionate discontent about where we are now is a great recipe to a healthy improvement mindset. It is less about what we haven’t done and more about what we could do now and moving forward to realise the potential we know we have. I invite you to give it a go.
How could you reframe your current situation to have a little more self-compassion? Are you aiming for outputs or outcomes?
What is one action you can implement this week as a result of reading this article? Give it a go and let me know how you go!
